Five weeks.....Five weeks ago I started a blog that I have been pondering starting for months and to which I have posted one time. Sad.....Sad.....Sad.  So why haven't I posted? No time.....not really a good excuse although things have been busy.....an excuse none the less. Nothing to say......no.....plenty to say just not enough nerve to say it. WHAT?!!! Yes I am finding myself scared to start opening up on the "Things Tucked Away" in my head. I have so many things I want to write about but I am too scared to actually put it down. Scared that I could offend someone, spell something wrong or use bad grammar. Scared that maybe the topics I pick aren't interesting enough or educated enough or that they will be boring. Scared because I want to share things about my kids, their funny stories and share pictures but not sure how to do all of that. Scared most of all that if I actually put down some of what is in my head I might actually have to start doing something about all the realities I've tried so desperately to avoid for the last several years. That I might have to finally start dealing with some of the feelings and emotions I have "Tuck Away". Things that are just on the surface waiting to be delt with in a more productive and healthy way than self medicating with an array of "Things".

So, it has begun. Its time to stop being scared. Stop making excuses. Stop second guessing myself and say what I need. Start sharing what I want to share and realize that some may not like what I have to say and that is ok. Its time to get it all out so I can get back to that little bit of myself I lost, knowing that I don't have to feel alone! Remembering that I have the best friends any girl could ask for and always have. Family that would do just about anything for me. And kids that just might someday want to know a side of their mom they didn't know was there:) I am ready for this journey to begin and to share it with anyone who wants to join me. And yes, I am looking forward to all that anyone might have to say good or bad. (I just hope its not too bad.....lol...)

Starting to Blog

So I suppose everyone starts a blog for there own personal reasons. And there are many different kinds of blogs out there. I wish I had some great new forward thinking idea and that would be my reason for starting a blog, however the truth is I just wanted a good place to write down how I feel, my memories, things I find annoying, things I love, and basically just re-discover who I am. So you may be saying about now "why not just keep a journal?" Which is what my husband asked. Well that is a great question. Really I am not sure I can give a wonderful answer. I wanted a place that I could easily attach photos of my kids when  sharing  a memory. I never do that with my journal.  So I am not sure I will feel comfortable sharing this blog with anyone. Maybe just a few for a while until I can see if I will enjoy this little experiment. So......It begins.....Now to just put down all these thoughts in my head!