Grandma Utahna

I was blessed to be asked to speak at my Grandma's funeral. She was such a special person in my life. I wrote my talk the night she died in less than an hour. I found out at about 6 that she had returned home with our father in heaven and was just....well....sad, shocked, and really not ready for her to be gone. That night my husband built a big bond fire in the back yard. He knows that camping and sitting around the fire was always a special place with my grandparents. While I was gathering all the groceries needed to make smoores with the kids I got a phone call asking me to speak. I remember standing looking at the fire with my husband and kids and thinking, "how can I put into words what this marvelous lady means to me?"  A few hours latter we put the fire out, the kids went to bed, and I got in the shower. While I was showering the words just came. I shut the shower off even before finishing, quickly put on some comfortable sweat pants, picked up my pencil and began to write. I've decided to post my talk. I've been thinking long and hard about if I really should. I have so many great memories and a few are in my talk. I wanted a safe place to store these memories and decided that maybe my blog would be a another good place other than my Journal. Also my blog, Things Tucked Away, well these memories are just some of that....things I have tucked away. I have taken out the memories my cousins gave me to share I just don't feel right sharing them, since they are there memories. But as your reading you will see that there was a place for them. So here it is......

Grandma Utahna

I want to take just a minute and tell you what an honor and a privilege it is to be speaking about my beloved grandma Utahna. She was my hero, cheerleader, friend and biggest fan all in one title “Grandma”.

Grandma had a special spirit. Everyone who came in contact with her fell under her spell. She welcomed everyone with open arms, and once she new you well, well you became just another “one of the bunch” or “one of her kids”. She just had a way of making everyone feel special. When I would go to visit no matter how old I got or what she was doing she would stop and find out what was going on in my life. She always had the best advice and the older I’ve become the more valuable that advice has become. When I was young her advice was just ramblings of a grandmother. Know her stories are valuable lessons for me to learn by. I realized one day, not too long after having become a mother myself that grandma had once been in my shoes. She knew how and what I felt and she knew how fast this moment in my life would pass. She said to me many times “do not wish you were older you will be older soon enough”.

When Jace, my 1st child was about 9 months old, Nashawn and I began trying to make him fall asleep with out one of us rocking him. Every night for a week we’d put him in bed to cry himself to sleep and he would cry until he through up. Grandma and Grandpa happen to stop by to visit on day 6 of this transition and I started telling Grandma what I was attempting with Jace. Grandma took my hand and looked in my eyes and said, “Honey that baby won’t even be able to fit on your lap soon. It seems like forever to you at this moment but in the blink of an eye they are grown and too big to fit in your lap. If that baby wants to be rocked to sleep rock him and cherish every minute”. And I have cherished every minute and she was right.

Grandma made the most wonderful memories with all her grandkids. Some we will keep as our very own and others that we wish to share today.

I learned that Grandma had a pretty good imagination and she wasn’t ashamed to use it. I loved to play with my dolls and to play house. When ever grandma baby sat me I would take my babies along. Grandma would build me my very own house in the back bedroom. she would make sure I had everything a house needed. We would make a couch out of  a blanket and a couple throw pillows. She had the cutest hutch and we’d put dishes in it then make a grocery list so latter I could grocery shop in her kitchen which became the store. She even made sure I had a table. I’d play for hours. Of course looking back now I think maybe all that work was so she could have a few minutes of peace from all my talking....but I’d never knew it then.

A little over a week ago I reminisced with grandma and I shared that memory with her and told her how special she always made me feel. She told me that she had done that with Liz when Liz was little. Grandma said that she could still see Liz making grocery lists on the chalk board behind the living room door. 

I loved sitting with Grandma and Grandpa and listening to the stories of my Dad and his brothers and sisters when they were young. Grandma loved to share stories about her kids. She was so very proud of them all. She loved them so much and her biggest accomplishment was being a mother. She told me a couple of weeks ago she was planning to go on a mission about the time she meet Grandpa. When she went to meet with the general authority about her mission her told her that if she knew a nice young man she should get married and start a family. So she did. And she really felt like Grandpa and her kids were her mission. They say that when you go on a mission the lord will bless you, and she was very blessed. They told her that because of the rumatic fever she had in her childhood she had a weak heart and that she shouldn’t have kids. She had eight. On baby number 6 the doctor told her that her heart was stronger than it was before she had any kids. A few years latter, the doctor who had delivered the 1st 6 ran into my uncle Wes. The doctor asked Wes how Grandma was and commented on her being so healthy after six kids. Wes laughed and said 8 she had two more. The doctor was very surprised.

My memories of my Grandma and Grandpa are some of my most cherished. And some are so close to the fore front of my mind that if I close my eyes I’ll go there. Summers in the yard, climbing trees, picking flowers, helping weed the garden, and BBQ’ing with family and friends. Camping in the Unitas, fly fishing, or rather watching my grandpa, dad, and uncles fly fish, talking around the camp fire, talking about days gone by and things to come. Getting up to the sounds of wonderful breakfasts in the morning, fresh fish and pancakes-mummm----I can almost smell them now. And falling a sleep to the sound of the grownups either talking or singing around the fire. Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve, family, santa, wonderful food and enchanting christmas stories from when grandma and grandpa were kids and when their kids were little. 

Lots of laughing, some crying, lessons learned, disappointments, and triumphant, all done in the loving arms of Grandma and Grandpa.

Two weeks ago I stumbled across a quote by Marjorie Pay Hinkley. The moment I read it I thought of Grandma.

“I don’t want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shinny sports car, wearing beautifully tailored clothes, my hair expertly coifed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. 

I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels form taking kids to scout camp.

I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children

I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingers from helping to weed someone’s garden.

I want to be there with children’s sticky kisses on my checks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. 

I want the lord to know I was really here and that I really lived”.

By: Marjorie Pay Hinkley

And boy did Grandma really live. I know she did all those things and more! She was all those things and more! She taught us, her kids, Grandkids, and Great Grandkids all those things and more! Boy did she love us all-and all the same!

So Grandma, the tears I cry today are not for you, I know you are in a much better place surrounded by loved ones and most of all your “Love” Grandpa.  The tears I cry today are mine-32 years just don’t seem long enough! But I will keep my memories close and share them with those who didn’t have 32 years and I’ll never forget the wisdom you’ve given me!

In closing just one more poem that fits Grandma - Mom. Its called Angles.

Angels

Once upon a time there was a child ready to be born. So one day he asked God, “They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?”

God replied, “Among the many angels, I chose a very special one for you. She will be waiting for you and will take care of you.”

The child said, “But tell me, here in heaven, I don’t do anything but sing and smile, that’s enough for me to be happy. And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don’t know the language men talk?”

God said, “Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care your angel will teach you how to speak.”

The child said, “And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?”

God answered, “Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you to pray.”

The child said, “I’ve heard that on earth there are bad men, so who will protect me?”

God replied, “Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its own life.”

The child said, “But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.”

God said, “Your angel will always talk to you about me and teach you the way to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you.”

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven but the voices from earth could already be heard, and the child in a hurry asked, “Oh God if I am about to leave now, please tell me my angels name!”

And God said, “You will simply call her Mommy.”