Do you remember the song "Its my party and I'll cry if I want to" ? Have you ever had one of those days? Well mine was yesterday. Not that anything really tramatic happend, it was just a not so fun day. On my list of Goals # 8 is to start exerciseing 3 times a week. I have faithful been doing so twice a week for over a month and plan on moving up to 3 days this very week :) However, # 11 which is feel good about the way I look, isn't going so well. Or at least it didn't last night. I have been going to the local rec. center and taking a Zumba class. Which by the way is so fun but remindes me that I can not dance. Anyway at some point during the class I caught a glimps of myself in the mirror. Needless to say by the time I got to the car, a day that had already been not so fun turned into tears. ( the poor friend that was with me!!)
Have you ever just had one of those moments when you know you are seeing yourself but you just cant believe its you. Don't get me wrong this can be a good thing too, but last night it was a " who is that.....it can't be me.....I would never have let myself go that far.......oh wait, I did and it is in fact....ME!!" And that folks is what lead to the "Its my party and I'll cry if I want to" Pity Party for one.
Now I know what your all thinking, and in fact the wounderful friend who was completly caught of guard by my tears, already told me. And I know that I am doing something about it and working hard, but some goals that one sets for themselfs (or that I set for myself) seemed like such a small goal when first set. Now it feels like a big hole that I dug....all by myself. I am just grateful I have such wounderful people around to cheer while I am tring to fill it all back in.
I've thought long and hard today about sharing this. Mostly because its easier to pretend my weight isn't an issue that I am concerned with. But pretending just isn't working any more. And being honest with myself is proving harder than I thought, espically with out all the junk food I was filling the void with. So today instead of consoling myself with something bad for me I am trying to express myself, be honest with myself by writting it down, and keep my goals all at the sametime.
Here's to goal # 11 and sharing something hard!
Have you ever just had one of those moments when you know you are seeing yourself but you just cant believe its you. Don't get me wrong this can be a good thing too, but last night it was a " who is that.....it can't be me.....I would never have let myself go that far.......oh wait, I did and it is in fact....ME!!" And that folks is what lead to the "Its my party and I'll cry if I want to" Pity Party for one.
Now I know what your all thinking, and in fact the wounderful friend who was completly caught of guard by my tears, already told me. And I know that I am doing something about it and working hard, but some goals that one sets for themselfs (or that I set for myself) seemed like such a small goal when first set. Now it feels like a big hole that I dug....all by myself. I am just grateful I have such wounderful people around to cheer while I am tring to fill it all back in.
I've thought long and hard today about sharing this. Mostly because its easier to pretend my weight isn't an issue that I am concerned with. But pretending just isn't working any more. And being honest with myself is proving harder than I thought, espically with out all the junk food I was filling the void with. So today instead of consoling myself with something bad for me I am trying to express myself, be honest with myself by writting it down, and keep my goals all at the sametime.
Here's to goal # 11 and sharing something hard!
I'm sorry you were having such a hard day. I hope you keep working on your goals, even when it's discouraging. And I've been told that you really don't have to know how to dance Zumba, just keep on moving. YOU CAN DO IT!!!! :0)
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that you had such a hard day. I remember when I had that realization. It's not fun, but it is the first step in making a change. You CAN do it. It's not easy, but it's worth it. Zumba rocks, but I've yet to meet anyone that looks great doing it besides the instructor :) Keep going strong. Love you!!!!
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